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Quotes
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"A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of
all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain."
-Abraham Crowley
"So much of what we know of love we learn at home."
-unknown
"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who
you cannot live without."
-unknown
"Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."
-unknown
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other
but in looking outward together in the same direction."
-Saint-Exupery
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words
become superfluous."
-Ingrid Bergman
"Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies."
-John Donne
"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin
"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love
- and to put its trust in life."
-Joseph Conrad
"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
-La Rochefoucauld
"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"
-Christopher Marlowe
"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."
-Houssaye
"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment
when alone together."
-La Bruyere
"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine
"To love another person is to see the face of God."
-Les Miserables
"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in
the recognition."
-Alexander Smith
"When we are in love we often doubt that which we most believe."
-La Rochefoucauld
"Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy,
or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up
one whole."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
-Charles Caleb Colton
"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."
-Lawrence Durrell
"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or
simulate it where it does not."
-La Rochefoucauld
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."
-Stendhal
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
-Thoreau
"Blushing is the color of virtue."
-Diogenes
"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to
tell each other right now that we love each other."
-Leo F. Buscaglia
"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive
it."
-Dr. Karl Menninger
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love
to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no
one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression
of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in
your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
-Mother Theresa
"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best."
-William M. Thackeray
"Don't forget to love yourself."
-Soren Kierkegaard
"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant
to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."
-Unknown
"Love is hard work; and hard work sometimes hurts!"
-Unknown
"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a
lifetime but lust just pushes away."
-Alicia Barnhart
"You call it madness, but I call it love."
-Don Byas
"Who says love never lives? Maybe we've never lived."
-Unknown
"He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes."
-Buddha
"Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever."
-Unknown
"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more
it is willing to see less."
-Will Moss
"If love is great, and there are no greater things, then what I feel for
you must be the greatest."
-Unknown
"The eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special to them;
there ought to be as many for love!"
-Margaret Atwood
"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules,
then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."
-Unknown
"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown
"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds."
-Shakespeare
"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile,
the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."
-Unknown
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel
completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified,
our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may
only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value.
Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
-Unknown
We are most alive when we're in love.
John Updike (1932 - )
"Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely,
with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand
and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You
may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that.
Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to
remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship
slips away and is lost."
-Kaleel Jamison
Use soft words and hard arguments.
English Proverb
90 percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen (1935 - )
Every artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Letters and Social Aims: Progress of
Culture, 1876
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935), 'Politics Getting Ready to Jell,' The Illiterate
Digest, 1924
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those
few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship
is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of
adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
George Washington (1732 - 1799)
Never tell a man you can read him through and through; most
people prefer to be thought enigmas.
Marchioness Townsend
It isn't kind to cultivate a friendship just so one will have
an audience.
Lawana Blackwell, The Courtship of the Vicar's Daughter, 1998
The only difference between a rut and a grave... is in their
dimensions.
Ellen Glasglow
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)
A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)
Love cannot survive if you just give it scraps of yourself,
scraps of your time, scraps of your thoughts.
Mary O'Hara
Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself.
Liberace (1919 - 1987)
If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends.
You talk to your enemies.
Moshe Dayan (1915 - 1981)
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You
really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)
You better live your best and act your best and think your
best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other
tomorrows that follow.
Harriet Martineau (1802 - 1876)
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without
losing your temper or your self confidence.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first,
the lesson afterwards.
Vernon Sanders Law
Works of imagination should be written in very plain language;
the more purely imaginative they are the more necessary it is to be plain.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You
can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945)
I don't confuse greatness with perfection. To be great anyhow
is…the higher acheivement.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "Mirror Dance", 1994
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two
chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path
of joy.
Sarah Ban Breathnach
Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.
Roy M. Goodman
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer
so inexorable as one's self!
Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804 - 1864)
Let the fear of danger be a spur to prevent it; he that fears
not, gives advantage to the danger.
Francis Quarles (1592 - 1644)
I am not afraid of the pen, or the scaffold, or the sword.
I will tell the truth wherever I please.
Mother Jones
To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another
person.
Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973), Tao of Jeet Kune Do
Americans are overreachers; overreaching is the most admirable
of the many American excesses.
George F. Will (1941 - ), Statecraft as Soulcraft
Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.
La Fontaine
If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles
than any wonder drug.
Patricia Neal
Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall
out with your superiors.
Jewish Proverb
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not
giving a damn.
Gore Vidal (1925 - )
Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being
one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick
themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon
loses both.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953
When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all.
Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than
in a year of conversation.
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
Beware of the man who won't be bothered with details.
William Feather (1908 - 1976)
When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.
Milan Kundera (1929 - ), The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow
beyond what you were.
Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
Raymond Lindquist
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Henry Winkler (1945 - )
The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source
of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future.
Stephen Ambrose (1936 - 2002), in Fast Company
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny.
Jean Nidetch
Most people rust out due to lack of challenge. Few people
rust out due to overuse.
Unknown
Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's
own life - is the source from which self respect springs.
Joan Didion (1934 - ), "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"
Music has charms to soothe a savage breast
To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
William Congreve (1670 - 1729)
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.
Latin Proverb
Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.
Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734), Gnomologia, 1732
ar Laws
* Friendly fire - isn't.
* Recoilless rifles - aren't.
* Suppressive fires - won't.
* You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
* A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
* If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
* Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste
a bullet on you.
* If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
* If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
* Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
* Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
* Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
* If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
* The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
* The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
when they're ready.
when you're not.
* No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
* There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
* Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
* There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
* A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
The Ol' Ranger's addendum:
Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush!
* The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
* The easy way is always mined.
* Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
* Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon
for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
* Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
* If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
* When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
* Incoming fire has the right of way.
* No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
* No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
* If the enemy is within range, so are you.
* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly
fire.
* Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
* Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
* Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
* Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)
* Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
* Tracers work both ways.
* If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than
your fair share of objectives to take.
* When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
* Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
* Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
* Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
* Weather ain't neutral.
* If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
* Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
* 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.
* The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
* Napalm is an area support weapon.
* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
* B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
* Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
* Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The one item you need is always in short supply.
* Interchangeable parts aren't.
* It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom
it may concern" you've got to think about.
* When in doubt, empty your magazine.
* The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
* Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
* If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
* Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay
awake when you can sleep.
* The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and
a compass.
* Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
* Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's
HQ.
* The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
* One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
* A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
* The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
* Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on
ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
* The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
* The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's
operator.
* Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
* No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
* If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
* Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
* When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important
ones are always illegible.
* Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
* The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they
want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
* To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information
from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
* The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
* The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet
is filled by someone else.
* When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack.
When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
* The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
* A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan,
stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
* Murphy was a grunt.
* Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
* Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies
killed in action.
* The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your
jumping range.
* All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
* The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its
outfit and appearance.
* The crucial round is a dud.
* Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
* There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to
do anything.
* If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault
on, he will bypass you.
* If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
* If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
* Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
* Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
* The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to
carry out.
* The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position
in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
* There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
* Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is
watching.
* The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured
channel.
* Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always
fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
* As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
* Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
* The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to
the distance to any form of cover.
* Walking point = sniper bait.
* Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that
day.
* If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually
a stupid solution.
* No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
* The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
* The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined
it.
* The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody
else to shoot at.
* If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
* The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
* If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
* The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
* There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and
miss.
* Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat
zone, it draws sergeants.
* If see you, so can the enemy.
* All or any of the above combined.
* Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.
* Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.
* Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't
be short is the ration ofshit.
* Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go
if killed.
* A half filled canteens a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.
* When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss
tomorrow.
The last six laws were sent by Hank Samples. A Viet Nam combat veteran (70-72)
11th ACR-101st Abn.
* It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.
Sent by - Baseka@aol.com
* If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.
Sent by - CPL Nagel
* Some General last words (as his aides tried to get him to get his head down):
"What! what! men, dodging this way for single bullets! What will you do
when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn't
hit an elephant at this distance."
Sent by Yael Dragwyla
The General was General John Sedgwick, said on May 9, 1864 at the Battle of
Spotsylvania.
Sent by Mike Gottert
* If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours
too.
* Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area;
they illuminate you too.
* Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar
helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.
* There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're
dead, or both.
Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both.
* Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one
of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just
in case."
* You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
The last seven laws were sent by Charlie.
* Complain about the rations all you want, but just remember; they could very
well be your last meal.
* Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.
* You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear
services.
* You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours
is better; you're both right.
* Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted
night's sleep.
* "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms.
The last six laws were sent by Donald J. Cheek, CPT, US Army (Ret) - Gulf War
vet.
* Don't be a hero
Sent by Bo Zhang
* Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
* NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.
* Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.
* Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
* Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
* If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably
do not have what they need.
* If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.
* Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
* Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats
the alternative...
* If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
* Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better
than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however,
are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish
in them.
* A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
* Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the
end of the day is better.
* Being shot hurts.
* Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even
awarded.
* There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
* C-4 can make a dull day fun.
* There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
* If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't
care.
* Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow.
What is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.
* Always make sure someone has a can opener.
* Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
* Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is
better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a
Med-Evac even if it is, technically, a form of flying.
* If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come
home either.
* Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is Not
A Good Idea!
A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will
point and shoot.
Not only that, AKs use green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let
God sort them out".
As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"
The last 25 laws were sent by Jim
* When the going gets tough, the tough go cyclic.
Sent by SPC Chris
* Military Intelligence is not a contradiction in terms, "Light Infantry"
is!
Sent by CPT Sean M. Murphy, FA, USA
* Proximity factor: The need for relief is directly related to the distance
of the relief station.
Sent by Joe Garcia
* Always keep one bullet in the chamber when changing your magazine.
Sent by J.E.S.
* In peacetime people say, "War is Hell". In combat, under fire from
artillery, airplanes, or whatever, a soldier thinks, "War is really really
really LOUD as Hell!!!".
* f you can think clearly, know exactly what's happening, and have total control
of a situation in combat, then you're not in combat.
* When you get the coveted 1,000 yard stare, don't forget about the enemy who
is 30 yards away and about to pop your ass.
* Stay away from officers in combat, they're clever decoys for noncoms.
* If you think you don't need something for your combat load for an OP PLAN,
you'll probably wish you had it after the shit hits the fan in combat.
* Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
The last six laws were sent by Michael Desai
* Failure of plan A will directly affect your ability to carry out plan B.
Sent by Lenny Quites
* If you drop a soldier in the middle of a desert with a rock, a hammer, and
an anvil, tell him not to touch any of it, and come back two hours later, the
anvil will be broken. "Because soldiers gotta fuck with shit". (quoted
from an Officer during an interview in which the Officer was asked why barrels
were thickened on the M-16A2).
Sent by Darrell A. Pierce
* War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Sent by Quenya. Aus. (didn't know there were Elves in Australia, didn't know
that elves were interested in war).
* Lackland's Laws:
1. Never be first.
2. Never be last.
3. Never volunteer for anythin
* An escaping soldier can be used again.
Sent by Asier Zabarte
* If you think you'll die, don't worry you won't.
* Near death, but still a live? There is nothing wrong with physics. God doesn't
like you.
* It is better to be lucky than good in the battlefield.
Sent by Rob
* If it's worth fighting for...it's worth fighting dirty for.
Sent by former Lt. C. Harper (Vietnam '65)
* if god wanted boots to be comfortable he would have designed them like running
shoes.
Sent by Pv1 Goetze
* If you survive the extraordinary things, it will often be the little things
that will kill you.
* Give an order, then change the order, will get you disorder.
Sent by Samuel
* You never have fire support in heavy firefight but you always have it on a
silent recon mission
Sent by Roswell
* Revision to Marine Corp. Motto "If it makes sense, we won't do it".
Sent by Larry Wotring
* The only thing more dangerous to you than the enemy, is your allies
Sent by Marc Underwood
Laws of War for Helicopters
* Helicopter tail rotors are naturally drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks,
etc.
While it may be possible to ward off this event some of the time, it cannot,
despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented.
It's just what they do.
* The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN.
Failure to heed this commandment can adversely affect the morale of the crew.
* The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive.
* "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant.
* The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Law:
The louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be
drawn to the gauges.
Corollary: The longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them to
move from green to red.
* Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
* The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange engine noises
become.
* It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same
time.
* "Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states the
more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up
your butt.
It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of:
S (suction) + H (height above ground) + I (interest in staying alive) + T (#
of tracers coming your way).
Thus the term 'SHIT!' can also be used to denote a situation where a high Pucker
Factor is being encountered.
* Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas.
Any combination of these can be deadly.
All the Laws of War for Helicopters were sent by Jim Kirk with courtesy of CWO4
Larry Gilbert (Ret). his brother-in-law that sent them to him
* Helicopters have been described as nothing more than 50,000 parts flying in
close formation. It is the mechanics responsibility to keep that formation as
tight as possible.
* It is mathematically impossible for either hummingbirds, or helicopters to
fly. Fortunately, neither are aware of this.
The last two laws were sent by Darrell A. Pierce
* LZ's are always hot.
Sent by loony39478@yahoo.com
* There are 'old' pilots and 'bold' pilots, but there are no 'old, bold' pilots.
* Any helicopter pilot story that starts "There I was,...." will be
either true or false.
Any of these stories that end with "No shit." was neither true nor
false.
* The mark of a truly superior pilot is the use of his superior judgment to
avoid situations requiring the use of his superior skill
The last three laws were sent by Brad Lucas, CPT, AV USA Ret, and a 1st Gulf
War Vet.
* Ch-53's are living proof, that if you strap enough engines to something it
will fly.
Sent by Jason Koeck
Laws of War for Tanks
* The same gun tube that would probably stay in alignment after lifting a
car, will get you beaten after calibration if used to assist in climbing on
the tank.
* Tanks draw fire. A lot of it. It does not behoove the infantryman to hide
behind one.
* If you're close enough to actually hear an M1 series tank running, while in
combat, and not part of the crew, you're too close.
Laws of war for tanks were sent by Darrell A. Pierce
Laws of the Marine Corp
* It never rains in the Marine Corp, it rains on the Marine Corp.
Sent by Jesse Cason
Law of Fighting Airplanes
* The enemy is always has the advantage.
* Heat-seeking missiles don't know the difference between friend and foe.
* 'Armor' is a fantasy invented by your C.O. to make you feel better.
* Afterburners aren't.
* Air Brakes don't.
* Your cannon will jam in combat, and then when you get back to base there will
be nothing wrong with it.
* You may have the better plane, but the enemy is the better pilot. (or vise
versa)
* When getting spare parts for your aircraft, you can get them CHEAP - FAST
- IN GOOD CONDITION,
pick two. (This applies to everything)
* Your radar will not pick up the enemy behind you or the one in the sun.
* If you have got into the sun and are about to ambush the enemy, it will either
be a trap or you'll run out of fuel.
Law of Fighting Airplanes were sent by Luke
echnology Laws
* Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
* Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something
which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
* Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
* If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first
woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
* The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental
solvency of the firm.
* The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
* An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows
absolutely everything about nothing.
* Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. great
discoveries are made by mistake.
* Always draw your curves, then plot your reading
* Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
* All's well that ends.
* A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
* The first myth of management is that it exists.
* A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
* New systems generate new problems.
* To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
* We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
* Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clark
* A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years
make.
* Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's
work.
* Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the
book or even what book.
* The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for
the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
* To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest
and cost the most.
* After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
* Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts
which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
* A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple
system that works.
* If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by
the page number.
* Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system
which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
* .Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a
"Pearl Harbor File."
* Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature,
volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
* If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
* The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition
already has the order.
* In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled
correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident
at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
* Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
* All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
* The only perfect science is hind-sight.
* Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
* If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
* If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
* When all else fails, read the instructions.
* If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
* Everything that goes up must come down.
Corollary: Not always
The corollary was sent by the Dark Templar
* Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
* Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
* Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
* The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level
of management.
* A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant
detail.
* There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
* The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the
deadline approaches.
* If there is ever the possibility of several things to go wrong, the one that
will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Sent by - Anthony Johnson
* If something breaks, and it stops you from doing something, it will be fixed
when you:
1. no longer need it
2. are in the middle of something else
3. don't want it to be fixed, because you really don't want to do what you were
supposed to do
* Each profession talks to itself in it's own language, apparently there is
no Rosetta Stone
* The more urgent the need for a decision to be made, less apparent become the
identity of the decision maker
The last two laws were sent by - Foes Arvin
* It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are
in a hurry.
Sent by - Charles L. Mays
* Don't fix something that ain't broke, 'cause you'll break it and you still
can't fix it
* You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Chong Kwong Sheng addition:
Only by the splatter of the blood stains
The last two laws were sent by Chong Kwong Sheng
* Dobie's Dogma:
If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.
Sent by Richard Bobbitt
* A screw will never fit a nut.
* Standard parts are not.
The last two laws were sent by Kent Berg
* When working on a motor vehicle engine, any tool dropped will land directly
under the center of the engine.
Sent by king Ed
* Interchangeable tapes won't.
Sent by Jeff Webb
* Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology.
Sent by The High Rabbit
* The bolt that is in the most awkward place will always be the one with the
tightest thread.
Sent by Stan Gajda
* The most ominous phrase in science: "_Uh_-oh . . ."
Sent by Yael Dragwyla
* The 2nd worst thing you can hear the tech say is "Oops!" The worst
thing you can hear the tech say is "oh s**t!"
* Any example of hardware/software can be made fool-proof. It cannot, however,
be made damn-fool-proof.
The last two laws were sent by Guy Dunn
* The Rossemblat Graphic Insult Theory:
When any technological change is made, we have a graphic insult curve. No mater
how high the insult curve climb, the important thing is how long it goes.
Sent by Leon Rossemblat
* Bahaman's Law:
for any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version of
that software appears.
Sent by Bahaman.
Yakko's addition:
The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
Sent by Yakko
* In today's fast-moving tech environment, it is a requirement that we forget
more than we learn.
Sent by Beverly Harris
* It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make it simple.
Sent by Fred Buterbaugh
* Measurements will be quoted in the least practical unit; velocity, for example,
will be measured in 'furlongs-per-fortnight'.
Sent by Keith Hipkins
* In electronics repair the part with the highest failure rate will always be
located in the least accessible area of the equipment.
Sent by Richard
* Multi-million pound technology is worthless in the hands of morons.
Sent by Danny
* The rule of Protection:
If you install a 50¢ fuse to protect a 100$ component, the 100$ component
will blow to protect the 50¢ fuse.
Sent by Bob Holdener
* Karl Imhoff was a German engineer who developed sewage treatment systems in
the early 1900's. His biggest contribution was the Imhoff Tank, which allows
sewage to settle. The Imhoff Law relates to bosses everywhere. The law goes
as follows:
The largest chunks always rise to the top.
Sent by P R Suhr
* High tech man-year = 730 people trying to finish a project before lunch.
Sent by Eric
* An expert will always state the obvious.
Sent by Lawman
* The boss is always right.
Corollary: If the boss is wrong, refer back to the rule.
Sent by RC
* On a cruise ship, the one, most important part you don't have in stock always
breaks on a Friday evening, just when you left harbor and the next time you
will be in harbor is a Sunday or Christmas eve.
Sent by Jouni Sironen - a long time sound & light technician on cruise ships.
* The chance a copy machine will brake down is proportional to the importance
of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount
of time till the material will be needed.
Sent by Timothy Boilard
* Maintenance department neglect customer's complains till it starts installations
in customer's new projects.
Sent by Khaled
* Murphy's Law on HVAC systems:
An HVAC (Heating Ventilating and Air Conditioning) engineering firm, will invariably
lease office space in a building with a lousy HVAC system.
Sent by Michael W. Murphy who has worked in 6 HVAC firm offices and can back
this law up.
All the engineers can do is shiver or sweat and moan about it, and say how they
would fix it if the building owner actually gave a damn.
* The probability any machine breaks down increases with the importance of expected
visit.
Sent by Asier Zabarte
* if it works in theory, it won't work in practice.
if it works in practice it won't work in theory.
Sent by Kevin
* Research Law:
No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone
who knows more.
Sent by J. Lawrence Katz
* Somers' Law of Repair:
No part ever fails where you can reach it, or where there is enough light to
see how to replace it.
Sent by John Somers
* Any tool dropped will fall where it can cause the most damage.
* Any wire cut to length will be too short.
* Equivalent replacement parts aren't.
The last three laws were sent by Bill Selover
* When you finally update to a new technology, is when everyone stop supporting
it.
* Interchangeable parts aren't
Sent by trekker508
* The proposed size of any project is inversely proportional to the size the
project will eventually become.
Corollary: Any project that can consume more resources before reaching it's
final state will do so.
This will happen faster than you think.
Also, the investors will not be happy.
Sent by Jon Proesel
* The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely
it will be funded.
Sent by Brad Gochnauer
* A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't.
* The more knowledge you gained, the less certain you are of it.
* If you think you understand science (or computers or women), you're clearly
not an expert
* Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology
The last four laws were sent by Jan Wenall
* All impossible failures, will happen at the test site.
Corollary: All impossible failures will happen on the clients desktop
Corollary sent by Dino Price
* The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely
proportional to the chances that they will be online.
* The more important your email is, the worse your email client will screw it
up.
The last two laws were sent by Padme
* The degree to which a device will function is directly proportional to the
number of times it has been bashed and inversely to its cost.
* A device having an indestructible component or is user serviceable is deemed
unsafe until it's replaced by an expensive, unobtainable, inefficient component
which needs constant servicing.
The last two laws were sent by Takura Razemba
* Assaf's Laws of Replacement Parts
o A failed 25¢ part cannot be replaced by a new 25¢ part, but by a
sub-assembly whose cost is equal to or greater than that of the device in need
of the part
o The cost and availability of a replacement part are in inverse proportion
to the cost of the whole system: a $1500 device will fail because of the burnout
of a 25¢ capacitor. But the 25-¢ capacitor is either
+ no longer manufactured
+ manufactured only by a company in Outer Mongolia with an 18-month backlog
+ available only as part of a $1450 sub-assembly
Sent by Francis Assaf
* All things mechanical/electrical will catastrophically fail after the guarantee
has expired, unless an extended guarantee has been purchased.
Sent by Blair Murray
* The Harvard Principle:
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of temperature, humidity, pressure,
etc., the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
* First Law of Linear Equations:
Given any system n linear equations, there will be n+1 unknowns
The last two laws were sent by Bill Pramik
* The disappearance of a nagging error in a system is explicable only in terms
of insignificant contribution of the source to that system
Sent by Manjunatha M, an application engineer